Instantaneous Healing, a Dumpster Fire Doom Spiral (week 1)

I am participating in a Get Wise* pilot program, to keep myself somewhat accountable, I will sometimes be sharing journal prompts and my responses.

What did “instantaneous healing” mean to you in CS? What was the impact of “instantaneous healing” on your life?

I have never managed to instantaneously heal anything in my life. While the jury is out about the possibilities of the existence of myself as any sort of spiritual being, my material self, as far as I am aware, has never instantaneously healed anything.

Of course, in Christian Science, one should never need to be healed in the first place, if one is doing one’s Proper Prayerful Protective Work, there would be no need for it. The need for healing implies there has been a lapse in your thinking.

I asked a lot of questions in Sunday School along these lines, and ended up being told “we’re moving on now,” and “that is an interesting question, perhaps you should read more of MBE’s works,” and my favorite, “perhaps you should have a few words with the Sunday School Superintendent,” who would chide me for distracting the others, and asking questions in bad faith.

If all our thoughts are from God, then why do we have erroneous thoughts? If God created everything, and God is All Everything, then why do I have to Correct My Thoughts? I shouldn’t be having Bad Thoughts in the first place. In this structure, there is no error, or mortal mind, they’re not real, so why are they impacting me?

Sunday School teachers are lucky that there is only about 40 minutes of class time and the rest is taken up with hymns and the Scientific Statement of Being, Sunday School is now dismissed.

Instantaneously healing was one more thing I was a failure at. I was never able to adequately prevent the need for healing in the first place, and I certainly was never able to instantaneously correct my thought. My “understanding” of Christian Science always fell short, and I was always woefully inadequate.

Since leaving Christian Science I’ve noticed that menstrual cramps still take a few days to clear up (with or without prayer, it doesn’t matter), and ibuprofen (when I remember to take it) makes a huge difference. Viral sniffles still run their course in about a week. Headaches come and go as they will, and praying about it doesn’t really make a difference (water, food, and tylenol can help though).

So what were the impacts of instantaneous healing in my life? Lasting feelings of failure and inadequacy, because clearly everyone else was able to instantaneously heal (and understand Christian Science) just fine — except when they weren’t, but we didn’t talk about that, because it made the problems real and gave them power over us, which circles back to all my Sunday School questions, and this ends in a dumpster fire doom spiral with self-gaslighting fueling the flames. Sometimes the only thing to do is walk away from the dumpster fire and watch it burn from a safer distance, hopefully it burns itself out soon.

Related posts:

What is encouraging to you when you think about your CS recovery as a journey rather than a problem to be solved? What is difficult?

I think calling CS recovery a journey is putting it too mildly, CS recovery is an Adventure. You need to pack snacks, and water, and possibly a sword, because who knows what you’ll encounter out there. There will be side quests and challenges.

To geek out for a moment, Oregon Trail is a journey, you might die of dysentery, or tip your wagon over in a river, and your fellow travelers might be completely useless but that is to be expected. Leaving Christian Science is more like taking the ring to Mordor, who knows what you’ll encounter, and hopefully you’ve got a good support team to go with you.

What comes to mind when you consider taking back your “house”? What consequences from CS have you experienced that might keep “rooms” of your “house” closed?

My house is pretty eclectic, I’m working on enjoying as much of it has I can. I have worked to fill it with things that are practical, and things that spark joy, I do often come across pockets of CS nonsense. Sometimes I sit with it, sort through it, and process it, other times, I put it back in a box, and put that box in another box and shove that box in the back of a closet to deal with another time. I think the number of boxes has diminished slowly over time.

Self-care task: develop a reflective community for support. Mission accomplished.

Get Wise is organized by the Fellowship of Former Christian Scientists, which is, a Christian Ministry. They connect people with a background in Christian Science and those who walk alongside them with Christ-centered resources, care and community. The content for the Get Wise support groups is safe for both Christian and secular participants.

2 thoughts on “Instantaneous Healing, a Dumpster Fire Doom Spiral (week 1)”

  1. EG says:
    EG's avatar

    I’ve always enjoyed your posts, but I feel like I particularly relate to this one the most. Your description of the circular arguments regarding “instantaneous healings” and how, as I’d put it, “any True Christian Scientist” who is properly doing their protective work, would not have to be healed of anything, is spot-on. I always wondered why there was so much focus on healing if “everything was perfect”, or “error” (which is supposedly nothing) gets so much attention. Nobody could give me the answers I was looking for, and I wish I had quit at that point. But no, I had to give it a go until I was 41. And yes, recovery from Christian Science is an adventure. I used to think it was a journey, and for awhile I thought I was pretty much done, until I realized I wasn’t. Then, the adventure began. Thank you for this post. It was quite validating for me.

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