If Jesus was alive today he would not be able to attend Principia College. For starters, Jesus wasn’t a Christian Scientist (he’s Jewish), and Jesus did a fair bit of drinking in his day.
Principia students, faculty, and staff come from many different countries and an even greater variety of backgrounds, but they share one thing in common: Christian Science. The College is not affiliated with the Christian Science Church, and Christian Science is not taught as a subject, but its principles form the basis of community life at Principia. Faculty and students alike strive to see themselves and each other as unlimited expressions of God. As a result, expectations are high, but so is the support community members provide each other. (emphasis mine)
Principia’s Purpose & Policies clearly spell out who can and can’t attend:
As a rule, members of the student body shall be accepted only from homes in which at least one of the parents or the guardian can give evidence of being a sincere Christian Scientist and of being ready to depend upon Christian Science for help in time of need. (emphasis mine)
Sorry Jesus, your parents, Mary and Joseph? Not practicing Christian Scientists.
So no, Jesus couldn’t attend Prin. If by some chance he converted to Christian Science then there would be other issues, like his drinking habits. In Luke he drinks with tax collectors and sinners:
But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” NIV Luke 5:30
The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.”‘ NIV Luke 7:34
In Matthew 26:27 he actively encourages others to drink as well:
Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. NIV Matthew 26:27
He encourages them again in Mark:
Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, and they all drank from it. NIV Mark 14:23
In John 2:1-11 Jesus goes so far as to turn water into wine for a party – and it’s good wine.
While it is unlikely Jesus drank to excess, any consumption of alcohol is a blatant violation of the Principia Pledge & Community Commitment:
All members of the Principia community are expected to live in accord with the stated Pledge and Principia Community Commitment. To the best of your knowledge, is the applicant free from participation in and/or use of the following? Alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, and other drugs (including drugs for medicinal purposes); lying, cheating, stealing and vandalism; premarital or extramarital sexual relations (both heterosexual and homosexual).
Although the college news paper occasionally talks about the drug and alcohol problems on campus the reality of the situation was that such problems were either glossed over or people who were already disliked were sent home.
Sorry Jesus, but with your already non-existent/shaky CS credentials a little drinking is getting you on the first Alton Limo back to STL.