Be the “Good Girl,” Intro To Trauma, part 1 (week 2)

I am participating in a Get Wise* pilot program, to keep myself somewhat accountable, I will sometimes be sharing journal prompts and my responses.

This post is going to be a little shorter than the last one, because Life Happens in Surprising Ways. It may also be a little vague, because I’m not sure I necessarily want to unpack all this with everyone at the moment.

What did “all-harmonious” mean to you in Christian Science? What were the consequences of this term on your life?

“All-harmonious” is similar to “mindful” (which I’ve already written about at length). It also brings to mind the terrible joke we made at Prin, Q: “How many Principians can you fit in a car?” A: “An infinite number, as they are all in one Accord.”

Growing up, “all-harmonious” manifested as unquestioning cooperation, capitulation, and being the “good girl.” Do not rock the boat, do not upset the parents. Go to school, get good grades. Go to church every Sunday. Do not bicker with your sibling. Do not set boundaries with your parents/elders, or push back or question their decisions.

That last one is not strictly a Christian Science thing, it is also a patriarchy thing, and some of my never-CS extended family have given me grief over it.

When I started leaving Christian Science, pushing back, setting boundaries, and questioning my parents/elders they did not always take it well. They still don’t, but it has been over a decade and a half, so on some issues, they’re taking it better than others.

Are you learning anything surprising about yourself as you remember your story and hear about other people’s experiences of leaving CS?

Yes.

What gets stirred up as you consider exploring and reconnecting with your “metaphorical house?” Have you ever experienced enmeshment, cutoff, dissociation, or disconnection with yourself (body, emotions, family history)? With your relationships with others (family, friends or community)? With your relationship with God or spirituality?

This should really be turned into a BINGO card, and I’d probably have a coverall.

Self-care task: Be intentional with investment in self-care.

  • Survive: Meet basic needs.
  • Nourish: recharge, reset, and supplement basic needs.
  • Flourish: grow connections, develop hobbies, learn new skills.

Get Wise is organized by the Fellowship of Former Christian Scientists, which is, a Christian Ministry. They connect people with a background in Christian Science and those who walk alongside them with Christ-centered resources, care and community. The content for the Get Wise support groups is safe for both Christian and secular participants.