Trauma & the Brain, part 2 (week 5)

I am participating in a Get Wise* pilot program, to keep myself somewhat accountable, I will sometimes be sharing journal prompts and my responses.

What did the word “demonstration” mean for you in CS? What were the consequences of the term to your life?

“Demonstration” is a seriously loaded word. The Demonstration of Christian Science is what I consistently failed to do, and that failure was one of the key factors in my decision to leave.

If you aren’t demonstrating Christian Science what are you even doing? As a Good Christian Scientist, you should be demonstrating supply (usually material wealth), and health (particularly that of children lest CSP get involved), and probably a few more things but supply and health are the top two. Failure to properly demonstrate locks you out of the CS “community” and that can be really difficult for those who were completely enmeshed.

What is something that is in your control? How quickly I get around to doing these exercises.

What is something that is out of your control? Just about everything else going on in the world at the moment. Yes, this is flippant, and I’m not about to “let go and let God,” because tbh, depending on which “God” it is, they’ve made some questionable choices in the past.

Can you think of a situation where you have both agency and the need to trust others? I wrote this quite a few years back about Kid2’s arrival (content warning: pregnancy trauma).

How are you doing with trusting your gut? What are you learning about yourself, your emotions, triggers, and stress? How are you caring for yourself, your emotions, triggers, and stress right now?

My gut decided to wake me up with a looming sense of dread and foreboding at 1:30 am PST on Wednesday, Nov. 6, and would not let me get back to sleep until a bit after 3:30, so I’m not too pleased with it.

I already learned I do not meditate well with apps (and to be fair, I haven’t really tried again), but I can do unguided breathing and grounding exercises on my own.

Actually acknowledging myself, my emotions, triggers, and stress goes a long way to helping manage it. This feels kind of obvious, but given the Christian Science way of downplay, deny, disregard, and disassociate, ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGING THINGS ARE (OR MIGHT BE) A PROBLEM IS KIND OF A BIG DEAL (yes, shouty caps were needed).

Self-care task: Mindfulness (ha!)

Get Wise is organized by the Fellowship of Former Christian Scientists, which is, a Christian Ministry. They connect people with a background in Christian Science and those who walk alongside them with Christ-centered resources, care and community. The content for the Get Wise support groups is safe for both Christian and secular participants.